Tuesday, November 4, 2008

It's Time...(my kids will kill me for this post one day!)

On this historic day (starting typing this out yesterday obviously) of electing our next president, I can't think of a better post than to talk about poop!  (*For those of you that don't know, I can't stand politics and talking about poop today basically sums up my feelings on the whole thing!)

My children have always been good poopers.  I have never had the extreme constipation issues that I have heard my friends in tears describing.  But as far as having to deal with actual poop....that is another story!

It started several months ago.  I know, I know...why did I let it take me so long to go to extremes?  I guess I have just always had hope that this was something that was weird and the kids would just snap out of it.  THINK AGAIN!  The kids are starting to potty train and if it weren't for having two, Elliot would be all said and done with the whole thing!  But something comes along with potty training.  I have heard it from almost everyone I know who has been through this trying situation....potty training leads to poop fear!

Sure my kids have pooped on the potty but once they started getting the hang of going potty, pooping on there stopped!  So they decide to just go the old fashion way or hold it for nap time!  Mine have primarily opted to hold it for nap time.  Getting into the comforts of their own beds they relax and finally go.  

The only problem is now that we are potty training, they don't like the feel of poop in their diapers.  That is a good sensation that we need them to have so that they will progress to full time potty use.  HOWEVER, not liking that feeling, being alone in their beds and for some reason...NOT CALLING MOMMA TO HELP THEM, they have decided to take matters into their own hands.  And by hands I mean literally...in their own hands.

It started with Elliot, taking off her diaper and sleeping in the buff while her dirty diaper lay beside her.  Not too much harm in that!  Then she decided she should explore this phenomenon further.  We have hit every gamut from fingerpainting with it, wearing it as blush/makeup, throwing the harder pieces over to bubba's bed like a baseball...oh yeah, it's gotten ugly.  I guess once she introduced this new thing to Keaton, he decided he should create some creative medium of his own.  And remember...he's a boy and boys are naturally messier!  He tends to play with it as hair paste, hide it in his drawers (we have rearranged the furniture now) or is bold in his attempt to cover every inch of his bed with the stuff.  Thank goodness their beds are black!

All this being said, I was tired of stripping the beds and washing them twice to three times a week.  First thing to go was the bumper pads.  Those things are not getting hand tied back on to their beds again...ever!  Next thing to go were several pillowcases who were so far gone I was not going to try my best Martha Stewart impression to try to make them cream colored again. ( Since then, we have moved to chocolate brown pillow cases!)  We have moved to pillow covers that are waterproof for extra protection.  And finally we could not have made it through these first two years without our Ultimate Crib Sheet!!!  They are seriously the #1 best investment of a parents lifetime!  Get them people....you will not regret it!

So last week we loaded up, headed to Wal-Mart and let the kids pick out their own Duck Tape!  We were going to nip this in the bud once and for all.  Elliot is currently obsessed with green so she picked out the lovely shade of lime green.  I put them on the next day during nap, calling the tape their belts.  Well....IT WORKED!!!  And now the kids cry for their "belts" before going down for nap.  I don't care what they call them, what color they decide they want, as long as it works and keep momma from having to handle more feces than anyone woman should.

So there is the short version of our poop-scapades.  See...your life isn't all that bad.  You could be having to clean up poop Xs 2!  


Barbara Manatee said...

So funny that they want their 'belts' now! haha! What a mess though...ugh! don't envy you at all. Hoping we don't hit that anytime soon, but chances are, we'll have our turn someday soon.

Leslie said...

Hang in there. I promise you'll make it through this:) Potty training twins stinks (sometimes literally!), but it will happen!

Your kiddos are gorgeous!!

cat said...

Brilliant girl! You are a genius!

Geo said...

This blog post has been printed and securely stored someplace. It will remain in hiding until such twins receive their high school graduation gifts from their great uncle!

I busted out laughing too many times during this blog!

Throwing the harder pieces at her brother is classic! (And how funny!!! The secret word to post this comment is FLING! That must be a sign from God that he thought it was a funny post too!)

Barron Triplets said...

Oh we are firm believers in Duct Tape around here. While we have not had a poop incident yet, the kids figured out how to take their diapers off through their clothes. Nothings wrong with a little DT!

Leslie said...

I've heard all kids go through this, boys seems to do it more. I am dreading the day I walk in and find poop all over them. I just might lose control, what little I have, should this happen in the next few months.
Thanks for giving me the heads up with duct tape. I'll go ahead and stock up!

Misti said...

I almost wet my pants I was laughing so hard! I can't wait to meet them!

Ashlee said...

I was looking at the picture trying to figure out what kind of diapers you buy with the neon green tabs. Little did I know you were making your own! I am so sorry for all your poop issues. But, it did make for a great post! We have had our share of feces horrors. I will pray for you and praise God for the duck tape!

Sandi said...

Oh, my, Melissa. Bless your poop-weary heart!!

Erin Faubus said...

Melissa, this is a terrible problem of which I cannot relate...I am sorry about the poop.